Vladimir Zhukov
Business, IT, personal development
Self-realization and building relationships
After analyzing the traffic of my blog, I realized that the topic of relationships and its right building is very relevant to many readers. In my previous article «Harmony is a pledge of successful relationships», I considered the problem of imbalance in life together and often arising problems in connection with these and their solutions. In this article I want to consider an equally important topic: the ratio of self-realization to live together and relationship building.
Often, we can notice that the relationship between people are beginning to crumble or at least to grow heated just for the reason that one of the participants of this relationship begins to succeed in life, and spends days and nights at work and doesn’t pay attention to his/her "soul mate". Moreover, a similar situation today is characterized not only for men but also for many girls.
In this situation, many people begin to blame themselves for something, or suspect that a loved one has someone else, but as a rule in 90% of cases the cause of all of it is the wrong business management, lack of life planning, irrational attitudes and priorities.
The fact that many people are too emotional when it comes to dating. Uncontrolled emotions - is the enemy of harmony, and to control emotions – is the first thing that people must learn to do before even trying to build a relationship or career. Some people will say no, emotion is my "trick", I am very passionate and freedom-loving person. I immediately want to ask such people the question: if you love freedom, why are you so heavily dependent on your emotions? To control emotions does not mean to be callous and "impenetrable", it means to think first and then generate certain emotions based on your reasoning. Successful man always has to think. Reason is the first thing that has to master a man pretending to have good results in lfe. If you start to think before generating any emotion, you will learn to love truly, truly live and experience the true feelings to those who deserve them in your life.
Therefore, it is often when relations destroyed not because one of the partners succeeds in life, but because the relationship consists of emotion only, and thus there is no discussion and agreement on what is happening.
What are the problem solution
The first thing you must decide - is whether you have now a desire to create these relationships. Personally, I believe that only two partially self-realized person can find happiness together. In other words, in a relationship each participant must have something that can present themselves, then the relationship will have not only emotional, but also a rational component. If you are in a situation when you like each other, but now you are very busy with self-actualization, agree on how your relationship will develop. After all, the contract will make your relationship specific and concise.
Another very important advice that can be given in this regard - is to develop self-confidence and trust your partner. The main cause of many conflicts is jealousy, jealousy - is a sign of weakness. Why do you think that if your partner comes home late or can not spend the weekend with you, it certainly means that he has someone else there? After all, he could just be really busy and he could not really have enough time. These thoughts are only a proof of self-doubt. It is better to communicate more with your partner: find out what was bothering him, help to find the right path in life, try to keep everything in your life in harmony.
Now some practical tips:
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Grow together. Your partner became interested in scuba diving - you can do it too, of course, without enthusiasm, but you will grow and spend more time together. Also, when your girl do aerobics, you can begin to go in the same sports club, but only in the gym to get there and back home together. You can learn foreign languages together or go dancing. You can start a tradition to meet after work and have dinner together. There are so many opportunities to spend more time together even at very busy schedule, use them and find out them, it's all for the sake of you and your relationship development.
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Leave the partner's personal space. First, each man is a man and everyone has their secrets, things that they would not want to share, even with the closest people. Do not try to understand what a person hides, or determine what he is doing when he is busy. Let the person has private time, when he can relax, think, and maybe meditate. Do not try to take every corner in the life of your partner, and then you risk just annoying him.
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Harmony is the key to success. Pay more attention to communication with your partner than an emotional component of your relationships. When conflicts arise, aim primarily to dialogue and not to a surge of emotion.
I hope these tips will help you in your life. If you like the material written in my blog, subscribe to the e-mail newsletter with fresh news or just come here oftener, I publish something every day ;-)! I wish you success in work and self-actualization ;-)!
Опубликовано: 2010-12-08 17:34:17, отредактировано: 2014-01-16 23:06:51
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