Vladimir Zhukov
Business, IT, personal development
Harmony — the key to a successful relationship
Today I decided to consider a bit of the relationships between people. Frankly, I expected that this article will be much easier, but when you start to write about the relationship, you know that almost every phrase is contradictory and absolute truth is nowhere. But nevertheless, I will present some thoughts on what is the basis of this relationship and how to make the relationship really harmonious and successful.
The main problem of the relationship
However much I analyzed the relationship between people, I realized that all the problems are not due to a lack of understanding or a different outlook on life, lack of attention, etc. - All this is an investigation. The main reason for any conflict is a lack of harmony.
For a long time I was against marriage contracts, I believed that true love is when all thoughts about only one person, and you're willing to do anything for this person, though now I'm leaning towards another thought. Love - is not a feeling to a particular person, it's just your attitude to life and everything around. It's just a talent to live for the benefit of others and bring them joy . Probably I would have described the concept of love now. Loving should not expect the response of feelings, and not to worry and spoil your life, if there are no feelings. Love is simply to be able to give all that we have. This is the result of what we give.
Like, how it relates to harmony and relationships between people? The fact is that I think people don’t discuss much about the relationship with each other; particularly they talk about financial side of relations, etc. As it happens, that they do not pay attention to this issue, it does not make these relationships are less significant. The fact that live in harmony with others is to be happy, not only personally, but to give happiness to those around. And this is possible only when all the relations regulated and prescribed by some rules of behavior between people. When the rules are detailed, no need to invent a new solution each time for different situations, but simply to remember the rule that governs it. It frees up a lot of free time that can be given to your loved one, instead of spending the time figuring out the circumstances which can be discussed in the rules.
How to build a harmonious relationship
What is the reason of the most argues? I believe due to irrational estimation burden on your loved one, and the unequal division of responsibilities. Historically, a man responsible for the external protection of his family, while a woman creates an inner abundance. But times change, society has become new. Nowadays external protection requires much less effort than creating a domestic abundance. After all, the relationship is the same project, and when the project is built, each participant of the relations has to invest equal share of the project to be strong and stable. After all, if one of the participants invests too little, another partner will need to attract additional second "investors". Thus treason is born :-). Sorry for such financial allegory, but I think the meaning is clear. When one person gives too much and do not get the proper return – it crumble the relationship.
Underestimating happens in many areas of life: for example, finance and housekeeping. Often a man earns significantly more than woman. In this case, a woman engaged in housekeeping. But it is very important that domestic work is not perceived as a tribute, but as an investment in building relationships. The housekeeping consumes much time; it is about 3-4 hours a day of hard work. Nevertheless, we are often faced with a situation where this work is not perceived and to a request to buy a new thing a girl can get back "sorry, we don’t have money, you sit at home so go, find a job and earn to buy what you want." This is wrong, because the woman works already from family, performing certain physical activities to maintain family integrity, cleanliness in the house, the family food security functions, etc. I believe that this can be regarded as a job, and this work should be rewarded.
To summarize, I want to highlight a few tips for creating a strong, stable families and to build a successful relationship:
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Before starting a serious relationship, such as marriage or cohabitation, it is required to agree on every detail of life together: who is responsible for what, who bears what responsibilities and obligations. And I think that at this point a girl may qualify for a statement like, "I'll cook and clean the house, and I need $300 a month as payment for this work." And the man has his right to say "No, $300 is too much, let me take over the cleaning and domestic work, and you will cook, and you will get $100 in this case." :-) The example is very abstract, and at first glance it may seem like just disgustingly cynical and insane. I also once thought so. But now I realized that this conversation is the first sign of harmony in the family, and is a guarantee that the number of scandals on the grounds that the apartment is not cleaned, or that no one has prepared dinner will be minimized. And, importantly, the work of each participant of the relationship will have a fair assessment.
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Strive in relations give 100%, as well as at work and in your favorite things. Practice the skills of caring for loved ones. The fact that the love and amorousness are completely different things. Amorousness is always temporary, and if it passes, but it turns out then you realize that there was no love. And a person perceives a terrible disappointment.
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Strive in a relationship not to dominate but to be a unity. The fact that the family ia a single mechanism, but how a mechanism can work normally, if one part feels more important than another one? There should not be a competition in the family, because not compete with anyone :-).
So I wrote an opinion about the relationship between people: the basic contradictions that may arise in the process of living together, and concise enough, and, in my opinion, the correct solutions. All that I listed above - it's my personal opinion, it is based on my experience, what I have seen: families, relationship, etc. If you do not agree with what I write, it will be your personal opinion ;-). And I wish all the readers the harmony and success!
Опубликовано: 2010-12-04 12:17:31, отредактировано: 2014-01-16 22:31:57
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The fact that I recommend very many friends and acquaintances before they start looking for a job the first thing to work on you: read more, learn something new, exercise, develop, and improve their skills.
After analyzing the traffic of my blog, I realized that the topic of relationships and its right building is very relevant to many readers. In my previous article "Harmony is a pledge of successful relationships," I considered the problem of imbalance in life together and often arising problems in connection with these and their solutions.
On this subject, written many articles and even books, the term information society is used more and more frequently in publications, but all opinions are quite different from each other, and often contradictory.
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